Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Because The Gospel Is True, God Does Not Send Homosexuals To Hell!!!

What!  What is he talking about?  This does not sound like the Josh that I know.  What does he mean God does not send homosexuals to hell?

You know, to many times, statements like this are made by people.  They will say things like "God loves you just the way you are"; or some other ambiguous comment such as the Pope's statement. "If someone is gay, and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?" The trouble is they do not make it clear what they mean.  In an effort to sound loving, to many have come off as vague and misleading.  Often times, in an effort to make it clear that the free offer of salvation is available to everyone, they make it sound like everyone can go to Heaven with no strings attached.

So let me be clear.

God Does Not Send Homosexuals To Hell

He sends sinners to hell.  And lest you think you know what I will say from here, I plead with you to stay with me.  Maybe you will be right, but what is five minutes? There is endless confusion about what causes someone to be "destined for hell".  I have heard everything from being gay, to getting a divorce, to smoking, to not going to church enough, endorsed as a reason for someone to go to hell.  These things do not condemn anyone in and of themselves. They are all symptoms of our sinful nature, but they do identify us as one of two classes or identifications: either sinners in need of a Savior or, sinners saved by grace who should be striving to grow in grace and obedience to their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

So who or what classifies someone as a sinner?

First of all let me clarify that, we are not sinners because we sin.  We sin because we are sinners. ALL of us.  From the moment we are born, we are guilty of sin and our hearts are immediately inclined toward sinful behaviors.  But for the intervention of God's grace, we are all condemned.  We are all guilty of Original Sin.  Now, what does that mean?

The term Original Sin actually originated with St. Augustine.  It simply means that sin is derived from our origin or we are sinners from our beginning.  This is supported by scriptures such as:

In Romans 5:12, Paul writes, "Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned."

In Psalm 51:5 King David writes, "Behold I was brought forth in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me."  

King David did not mean that his mother was sinning when he was conceived. We have no reason from scripture to think that.  What he meant is even as he was being conceived, sin was present in him.

From the very beginning, it is rebellion against the knowledge of our Creator and His rule and reign which has condemned us.  From the beginning, our nature is to love darkness rather than light.  We are unable to love God or desire to obey Him unless, by His grace, He changes our hearts.(Romans 1:18-32, Romans 8:7-8, John 3:18-21) 

You see, the condemnation of our souls comes from our heart condition, not our actions.  Jeremiah 17:9 states, "the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can understand it?"  We are sinners in our very nature from conception and very soon in growing up, our sinful nature becomes evident in our actions.  As I said before, our actions are just a symptom of our sinful hearts.

I do not need to go into the scriptures that condemn homosexuality as a sin.  Most people have heard them and if you have not, they are easy to look up.  What is important to understand is that homosexuality, along with a multitude of other sins is condemned in scripture.  Even more important to understand is that you were condemned as a sinner before you were old enough to even consider whether you were going to struggle with same-sex attraction.  Again, being gay is not what condemns you to hell.

James 2:10 states, "For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it."

The first time you had a rebellious, selfish thought as a child which put you in opposition to your parents, you became guilty of not honoring your father or mother, thus breaking one of the Ten Commandments.  So if it was not obvious before, herein you find the sinful actions that reveal the sinful heart.

Jesus made it about the heart, as he condemned the teachings of the Pharisees and gave his Sermon on the Mount.  There he taught for example, that it is not enough just to not kill someone, but to harbor anger in your heart is murder.  It is not enough not to actually not commit adultery, you must control your thought life and guard your heart from lust to begin with.(Matthew 5: 20, 21-26, 27-30).

So What Is The Answer For Any Sinner With A Particular Inclination?

The Gospel is the answer.  What does that mean?  In a couple of simple scriptures, Paul articulates the gospel this way:
"This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." (1 Timothy 1:15)
"Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you, unless you believed in vain.  For I delivered up to you, that which is of first importance: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." (1 Corinthians 15:1-4) 
Here is the thing.  The beautiful, good news is that, at every point in which you and I have failed to obey the law, Christ obeyed it perfectly.  Every aspect of  holy living that God requires was satisfied in our stead by Christ.  He was tempted in every way yet absolutely without sin( Hebrews 4:15).

Then the greatest scandal in history occurred.  This perfect God/Man after having lived sinlessly here on this earth, was crucified.  He was beaten severely, had his beard ripped out, had a crown of thorns placed on His head and then He was hung on that tree at Calvary.  But the greatest suffering did not occur during the beating or at the time in which he was nailed, hands and feet to the cross.

His greatest suffering took place when He became sin in our place (2 Corinthians 5:21).  There he drank the cup of God's wrath against all the unrighteousness of everyone who would ever come to put their trust in this Suffering Savior.  There he experienced the fury of hell in his very being.  Never sinning, yet becoming sin, he became acutely aware of the torment of God's wrath being poured out upon Him in our place.

This sacrifice that Christ made to satisfy the wrath of Holy God is what makes salvation possible for any sinner.  Christ's obedience and righteousness becomes ours by faith and our the penalty for our sin is no longer held against us becasue Christ already paid the penalty.  We all deserve hell and yet, many will receive heaven.  This is the gift of both the Father and the Son.  Salvation for all whom believe.

Salvation Is Not Free or Unconditional

This love is not unconditional.  It was not free.  It cost God the Father His Son.  It cost God the Son His life(John 3:16).  That was the condition for our salvation on their part.  There is a condition on the part of those who would become children of God and gain eternity as well.

Repent and Believe the gospel!!  When Jesus began his ministry, these were his words(Mark 1:15). In a sense, people who make statements that anyone can go to heaven are correct.  Where they make a mistake is in not clarifying the requirements.  God does not make distinctions for salvation based on ethnicity, gender, any positive attributes, or any particular sinful inclinations.
"if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe with your heart that God raise Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.  For the scriptures says, Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.  For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing riches on all who call on him.  For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. (Romans 10:9-13)
The Apostle Paul who wrote the above passage in Romans also wrote the letter to the Ephesians.  Together they are considered to be the most thorough treatments of how we are to understand the gospel of Jesus Christ.
In Ephesians 2:8-10 Paul tells us, "For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."  
So you see, we cannot claim Christianity as some thing that we do and continue living any old way we please.  Salvation is a gift of grace.  It does not happen unless God enables us by the regenerating power of the Holy Spirit, because apart from a God-given heart change, we are dead in our trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1).  A corpse can do nothing.  So, if God breaths life into your dead bones, if that gift has been given to you, it comes with a price; a willing submission to Christ's Lordship.

God will not save you to live as you please and gratify the desires of your flesh no matter what they are.  No matter the sin, Jesus' call is for us to repent of our sins, turning away from those things that are contrary to the word of God and running toward obedience to His word.  Ephesians 2:10 stated that, as believers we were created in Christ Jesus for good works prepared beforehand for us to do.

Yes, God Does Love The Homosexual

If you are reading this as a gay person, I will happily affirm that God does in fact love you just the way you are.  Romans 5:8 says that "God demonstrates His love for us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."   God does not require that you start changing and then he will make himself available to you.  He comes to you just as you are.  This is true of every sinner.

However, He does not intend that you stay just as you are.  If He has in fact saved you, He will begin changing your heart.  He will not necessarily take away the sinful inclination, whatever that may be.  But, He will cause your desires to grow toward pleasing Him over yourself.  He will reveal Himself to you through the preaching and reading of His word and He will not contradict Himself.  Through prayer and careful reading of scripture, we come to know God as He molds us into the image of Christ.

If we have truly had a heart change, then we have experienced a conversion from sinner to redeemed.  We are no longer identifying as a sinner enslaved to sinful tendencies from a heart hardened to God. We now identify as a redeemed child of the Most High that desires nothing more than to please Him and is actually free to resist sin and experience victory.

We also learn to trust that God loves us and always has our best in mind not just in this life, but in the life to come.  He will lead us into all righteousness and satisfy our every need.  He will teach us how to experience satisfaction in Him that makes everything else pale in comparison.

This is the glorious truth of the gospel and it's amazing effects on the life of the believer.  

However, if you choose to reject this truth and live according to your own desires, then like any other impenitent sinner, the homosexual will die an eternal death. Gay or not, this will be evidence that God has not saved you and I pray that if this is you, something in you will be discontent and cry out to God to save you .  It is not too late until you are dead.  Once you pass from this life, there is only judgement.

You might ask, if God is a God of love, then why does he let those He created in His image go to hell.  The answer is because He is also just and holy.  Because he is holy, he cannot amd will not tolerate sin in His presence.  Because He is just, he must punish impenitent sinners.  If one has placed their faith in Jesus, then the price that Christ paid covers their sin and they are not longer seen as sinners by God.  That is the beauty of the gospel.  Grace is not deserved by anyone but is available to all who believe in him by faith and evidence that faith through repentance.

However, if one rejects the price paid, then they must suffer God's holy and just wrath.  This occurs as eternal, conscious torment in an existence where the only experience of God's presence they will ever know is one of judgement and wrath.

With tears in his eyes the great evangelist George Whitefield described Hell this way:
"the torment of burning like a livid coal, not for an instant or for a day, but for millions and millions of ages, at the end of which souls will realize that they are no closer to the end than when they first begun, and they will never, ever be delivered from that place."
So many Christians get a bad wrap for using words like judgement, condemned, etc. as if there is a hateful heart behind it.  The truth is many of us understand that the description of hell above still pales compared with the reality.  It is out of love that we use these words as warnings to any and all sinners, not just homosexuals. That just happens to be the hot button sin in our culture at the present. We speak of these things because we do not want to see anyone experience that reality.

Please, I beg of you, don't make that description of Hell the end of your story.  Cry out to Jesus. Repent and believe the gospel.  It is not too late.  It does not matter if you are gay or straight, a ten year old child or twenty-five year old rapist and mass-murderer.  Sin is sin and the gospel works the same way, no matter the sin.

He saved the Apostle Paul from a life of angry, murderous persecution against Christians, to become one of God's Apostles himself.  He was used mightily of the Lord and wrote a large chunk of the New Testament.  No one is out of God's reach.

Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart. Today is the day of salvation.(Psalm 95:7-8, Hebrews 3:7-8 & 15, 2 Corinthians 6:2)

I pray you will trust and obey in Jesus name,


Saturday, July 4, 2015

Why Marriage Doesn't Matter......Or Does It 2.0?

The last days have seen every conceivable response to the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage.  But are we not missing the point to some degree?  Do we have a healthy understanding of eschatology (end times) as it relates to marriage?  Even if we do, we must continually be reminded. Stay with me for a few minutes and see why, in one sense, marriage matters immensely, in another sense, it doesn't matter at all.

Anyone who knows me or has followed this blog knows my stance on marriage and why it matters.  I will reiterate this to some degree here.  So why am I stating that marriage doesn't matter?  I believe there has been a gross overemphasis on marriage as the status quot for happiness and meaning in life both in this life and the next.  It impacts not only the overemphasis on the need for marriage by homosexuals but also the cultural normalcy in church life as it relates to singleness.  No one teaches a theology of singleness anymore.  I will not do it at length in this post but I may at some point.  It needs to happen often in our day, especially from the pulpit.

We all know that generally speaking the gay marriage agenda has had a dual argument which emphasizes the impact of marriage on civil rights, as well as whether they have the right to the same loving union "before God" as heterosexuals do.  I am not arguing for or against that in this post, though as an evangelical Christian, clearly I have reason to suggest that gay marriage should get a biblically based "bad rap". 

Singleness among the secular/worldly heterosexual culture is actually gaining ground as many unbelievers and not a few professing Christians are loosing an appreciation for the covenant commitment of marriage that was established by God from the beginning as the means by which family is held together and the earth is filled through reproduction.  They are either remaining single by choice because they are placing professional growth over the importance of family; or they are choosing to live together without marriage, a commitment that is not approved by God.  

It is being observed more and more by those observing church culture that singleness in the church is often being downplayed unintentionally.  It is thought that their needs to be more teaching that encourages marriage and family, while not making singleness faux pa.  We must teach both what healthy marriages should look like and what biblical, healthy singleness looks like.

This is applicable to any single, whether you are heterosexual or homosexual in orientation.  The choice to remain single and celibate for any period of time in the face of sexual attraction of any kind must be driven by a love for Christ and a proper understanding of the gospel.  You cannot do it because people say you should.  You must be motivated by a passionate appreciation for all that Christ has done for you and a healthy understanding that this life is not the end all.

Why Marriage Doesn't Matter

The Apostle Paul teaches that in the interest of not having divided interests it is better not to marry.  Here is the passage in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9"Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.  I wish that all were as I myself am (single).  But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.  To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.  For it better to marry than to burn with passion."

In the grander context of chapter 7, Paul is encouraging those who are already single to pursue singleness as it relates to their God-given ability to be singularly focused on Jesus and the gospel.  He is not encouraging singleness for the sake of singleness or selfish pursuits that do not have Christ and the Great Commission (Matthew 28) at the center.  At the same time he brings balance to the thought, acknowledging that God has not granted everyone the gift of singleness and thus celibacy.  Jesus speaks to singleness and celibacy as a gift as well in Matthew 19:10-12.  As I said, I would love to speak to singleness more at another time and flesh out these thoughts further but I must move on as this is not the main point of this post. 

To be clear regarding marriage, we are certainly given permission to be a witness to the love of God in Christ Jesus as married men and women who are raising a family.  That can be exhibited in the form of a strong Christian witness in the everyday life of work and home or it can be in the form of ministry, be it pastoral, para church or in some official missionary role.  While singleness may make flexibility easier, being married does not limit what God wants to do in your life.  If we are not clearly driven to remain single for the sake of being free to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth, unhindered by familial responsibility, then we should be getting married.  

In Matthew 22:23-33 the Pharisees are challenging Jesus about the resurrection.  In so doing, they question Jesus about marriage in heaven when a spouse has been married to multiple people in this life.  They specifically reference Deuteronomy 25:5.  Jesus' answer was this, "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven."(Matthew 22:30).  

Here Jesus is making clear that marriage is a temporal thing.  It is not the main point because it does not exist for all of eternity.  Once a person dies and, if a believer, begins eternal life with Christ in Glory; the marriage relationship ceases and sex as a means of fulfillment and reproduction is no longer necessary.  In effect, in Heaven, marriage does not matter.  So why is it such a big deal in this life?

Why Marriage Does Matter?

So what is the main point?  Why all the hubbub about marriage if it doesn't matter?  Well, basically, because it does matter.  I know, it sounds contradictory.   Here's the thing, in eternity marriage to each other does not matter because we will be married to Jesus.  In fact, if you are a believer, you already are.  You may be thinking, Huh?  Let me explain.

As explained in Genesis 2:18, 21-25 God gave Adam a helper made from Adam's rib and Adam called her Woman.  God said in vs. 24, "therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."  They were to "be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28)  So at the most basic level marriage is a man and a woman in a committed, covenant relationship between them and God, making babies and managing the earth's resources to the glory of God.  

Now, if there was any confusion about whether this was God's design for marriage, a few thousand years later Jesus comes on the scene and clarifies.  In Matthew 19:3-12, he clarifies his position on marriage, divorce, remarriage, and single celibacy.  In vs. 4-6 He says, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh?  So they  are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." 

 Sound familiar?

Ok, so we know how marriage is defined by God but what is it's purpose in this life?  This is where the Apostle Paul is helpful.  In Ephesians 5:22-33 Paul writes what have become some of the most controversial, offensive verses in our feministic day and time.  Unfortunately, many a man has abused these verses and many a woman has wanted to ignore them.  This is because both parties have completely missed the point of this passage of God's word.  That is why they are offensive and controversial; not because God's word is imperfect or bad for us, but because sinful man has distorted it and mangled it's application.

Let me see if I can break it down briefly so as to make clear what the point of this passage is. Ephesians 5:22-24 is to wives.  In it Paul instructs wives to think of themselves not as worthless or inferior to their husbands, but rather as a valued treasure that, in relating to her husband, is intended to reflect the church universal as it relates to Christ.  The church submits to Christ because it is responding to His love for her.  The wife submits to her husband as an act of submission to Christ, because of Christ's love for her.  She is entrusting her husbands role, and his obedience to the requirements of that role, to Christ's authority.

Now for husbands.  Ephesians 5:25-29 teaches husbands how to love their wives.  The answer is we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  As husbands we are to die to ourselves and live with the purpose of representing Christ's love to our wives.  Just as Christ washes His church with His word, we as husbands are to wash our wives with the water of the word. We are to value her as our greatest treasure and treat her as such.  If we do that, she will have a much easier time responding with loving, respectful submission because not only is she trusting her husband to Christ, but she will actually be able to trust herself to her husband.

Paul continues to build his case by quoting both God in Genesis and Jesus in Matthew, writing in Ephesians 5:31 he says, "therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh".  From here, Paul get's to the obvious point in Ephesians 5:32 when he says, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church."

He is answering the question, "Why does marriage matter?"  It matters because God intends the husband/wife relationship to show the world how Christ loves his church and how the church is to respond to that love.

Jealousy for Jesus In Singleness!

If you are a single believer in Christ, that does not mean you are relationship-less.  You have a covenant relationship with Christ.  You also share in this relationship with a huge family of brothers and sisters in Christ.  Whether they are married or single, we will all share singleness in common in Heaven.  These are the only relationship that will matter in eternity and it starts the moment you place your faith and trust in Him.  Do not think that you are inferior or somehow less valuable.  Every child of God is infinitely valuable to Christ.  He died for you!  For that reason you should be jealous for Jesus in your singleness.

You have a special opportunity in your singleness to impact the kingdom in ways that only a single person can.  Not to take anything away from marriage and family but, there are burdens and responsibilities that a single person does not have to carry.  This makes them flexible and thus uniquely qualified for certain tasks that only God knows about.

You may or may not ever be married.  Regardless of whether we are married or not, we must make every moment count for the kingdom.  We must live vertically, always considering what God's purpose is in all that He places before us.

Jealousy For Jesus In Marriage

When marriage is thrown out via divorce, distorted in the form of abuse or infidelity, or by changing the sex of the parties being married, it vandalizes the very image that God intends it to reflect. That is why we must be jealous for the protection of this covenant relationship.  We must be jealous for Jesus because in a sense, whether husband or wife, as God's children we represent Christ to the world.

Wives represent Christ through willful, loving submission to their husband just as Jesus willfully submits lovingly to God the Father.  Husbands represent Christ's sacrificial love for the church as they sacrificially love their wives.

We must not respond simply with the occasional expression of distaste for "same-sex marriage", but by ensuring that our own marriages are representing this biblical model appropriately.  When we are having difficulty applying biblical principle to our marriage for each other, we must do it for Jesus.

We must always remember that, as believers, our covenant relationship through marriage in this life is always intricately tied to the marriage covenant in which we take part; as part of Christ's bride, the church of Jesus Christ.  In that respect, male or female, Christ is our husband and we should submit to Him out of our love and appreciation for His sacrifice for us.

Our marriage to our spouse in this life matters immensely to Jesus because of it's reflection on our marriage to Him.  He cares that it is successful not just for our happiness, but for His glory!

Make Your Marriage Matter for Christ's Kingdom!  Lift up the name of your Eternal Husband!

In Christ's name,



Wednesday, July 1, 2015

What Would I Do If My Gay Child Wants To Get Married?

I received over 500 page views on this blog for the post entitled, What Would I Do If My Kids Were Gay?.   Curiously, I have had very little actual commentary.  This does not bother me.  It is only curious because when I have posted to FB on this subject in the past, apart from the blog, I have received quite a bit of response.  I hope that simply means that I answered many questions thoroughly in the that way I wrote it.  It truly is not my goal to be controversial for controversies sake.  However, it is inevitable at times that gospel truth will bring controversy.  I have received some feedback which I would like share because a response to it is the purpose of this post.

Before I go on I would just like to say that I am writing this now in light of the recent decision by the U.S. Supreme Court regarding so-called gay marriage.
Image result for pictures of white house in rainbow

There have been many solid responses and in a way, mine will just be one more.  The only thing that may make mine a little different is that I am writing in response to someone who is gay and expressed some thoughts in the form of questions regarding my previous post.

I could see how someone might think that I have an over-inflated sense of the importance of my thoughts on these matters, as if I am the authority on this subject.  I would just like to be clear that I am just a man.  I am a Christian man with biblical convictions on all of life and the way we conduct it.  However, these convictions are not based on any authority that I have.  I humbly submit myself to the authority of God's word and the commands therein.  In Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus commands His disciples and consequently, all of His disciples for all time by saying this, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.  And behold I am with you always, to the ends of the earth."

I recognize that no one has to read what I write.  There are many who are greater than myself that are writing and speaking to this issue and many other issues of Christian growth and obedience.  I am hardly the end all be all.  I am not well known, nor do I have an official position of spiritual authority in a church.

I write these things because it is one of the means by which I am compelled to share the truth of the gospel as it applies to every area of our lives.  Jesus commanded this because he ordained that people would come to a saving knowledge of the truth via the proclamation of His gospel by His disciples. Christ is the good shepherd and wants His sheep to come to know Him.  So do I.  That is my heart and purpose.  Apart from the power of the Holy Spirit, this blog is just empty words.  I pray that God will use what I write to change hearts for their good and His glory.


As I said, I have received some positive feedback regarding my previous post about homosexuality. All feedback is meaningful to me, but the one that has meant the most to me was from someone, who is gay, with whom I have direct, face to face contact.  I am thankful for their honesty and thought provoking questions.  I wish to respond with what will hopefully be some clarifying thoughts regarding my understanding of the concern.  Here is the feedback I received.

Just because I love discussion, I thought I'd comment haha. I read it, and think it's pretty good. My parents are dealing with this now haha. It is interesting to see how stuff plays out. I grew up in a verrrrry conservative Christian home. And when I came out to my parents, I told them "this is how it is. I don't believe it's wrong. This is my lifestyle." And obviously I've grown up in the church for the last 20 years so they don't need to "drag me kicking and screaming" to heaven. I know what they believe just fine and no amount of convincing or begging or words will change my mind. And they have chosen to not say anything other than they love me and want me to feel safe at home. Which I appreciate. Because if they had harassed me(this is a harsh term, I know), it would eventually have damaged our relationship. 

So basically my question to you is, what would you do if your child was independent? Seems like your post was awesome In regards to loving them and steering them as much down the path towards God, only, it felt like it talked only about the short term. What if they identify as Christian and gay? What if they don't repent? What if they have a same sex partner? I know these are super hard questions, but for people who are gay, we think about that. My parents have continued to love me and support me, and when I say "support", I know they don't support my lifestyle but they support me. And are there for me. But I do often think about what will happen when I have a partner. And I care about what other people will think too. So. There are some thoughts I'm throwing out at you. Enjoy the read lol.

I respect this person who identifies as gay very much for their honesty?  I want to honor them for being willing to be vulnerable about their thoughts and concerns in a civilized way.  I was going to write a couple of posts regarding this persons concerns but in light of current events, it seemed I could use another hypothetical to accomplish the same purpose in one post.

So let's suppose this person was my child.  They have been raised in a loving Christian home and currently, the child has come out about being gay.  As noted above the, now adult, child's parents have responded as lovingly as can be hoped for without affirming the inclination or the lifestyle.  Now gay marriage is legal. So.....

What Would I Do If My Child Now Wants To Get Married?

These are the questions/concepts that I perceived in reading the feedback above, as considered regarding an adult child rather than a younger child.  1.)  "What if they identify as Christian and gay?"  2.)  "What if they don't repent?  3.)  "What if they have a same-sex partner?"  I would like to add one more? 4.)  "As parents, If in fact, we cannot drag our children to heaven kicking and screaming, how do we lovingly point our children toward Christ, regardless of their sinful tendencies?"  

One of the statements that I made in my previous post sums up, in a nutshell, my approach regarding sinful inclinations of any kind, no matter how old they are or what the sin is,
"These are a few of the many gospel truths that I have already begun teaching my children.  If they began developing feelings of same-sex attraction, I would continue teaching these things.  Nothing would change because these truths do not change, no matter what our sinful inclinations may be.  They are just as true for the single man or woman inclined toward fornication or the married man or woman inclined toward adultery as they are for the single homosexual inclined toward the same sex."
Here is the thing.  When you are in a relationship with someone whom you love, whether family member or friend, who is living a lifestyle of blatant impenitent sin, you can change how often you place the message before them, but you should not change the message.

There is a point at which you have spoken the truth, you have begged the person to repent and believe the gospel, and you have cried on your knees in prayer and you can do know more.  If you continue to berate them with preaching or even strive to continuously hold up the gospel in front of them subtly yet they reject it, you may be "casting your pearls before swine"(Matthew 7:6).

Now, at no point does scripture teach that we should cease praying for the lost or that we should necessarily stop speaking truth in love and calling for repentance all together however, to whatever degree we do these things we must always remember that we are not always promised a yes as the answer to our prayers; even as it regards the salvation of loved ones.  However, we must always remember that God is good and his ways are always just and right.  We must pray and share the gospel with our loved ones because it is a good and right act of obedience and love toward our Savior and we must trust our Heavenly Father in all things.

One of two things will happen:  1.) the Holy Spirit will respond to your many payers and the gospel that has been presented, and your loved one's heart will be changed or 2.) sadly, God will actually send delusions in order to harden the heart of those whom have heard and understood the truth and have rejected it(2 Thessalonians 2:11-12; Romans 1:18-32).

My response to my child in this case would be this.  If you have read my previous post, you know the good news of the gospel which I stated that I would ensure my children understood, at least intellectually, even if it does not change their hearts at that time.
  • They will know that God has loved them enough to provide a Savior for their souls and that they can find meaning and satisfaction in this life through relationship with him and through relationship with His Church.  
  • They will not be told that God loves them no matter what. They will have been told, and will continue to be told, that God will save them just as they are, but not so that they can remain just as they are.  
  • There will be no question of God's love,  God's righteous judgement and God's just truth.  They will know that whatever God requires, he makes a way for it to happen if we will trust and believe.

They will know that I love them no matter what. but what does that mean?  Does that mean that I will support them in all of their endeavors, no matter how immoral I believe them to be?

Would I Attend My Gay Child's Gay Marriage Ceremony?

This is not intended to be a prescription for all parents of gay children that may face this question, though I do believe it is the most sound approach.  With that said I willingly acknowledge that this is a very difficult scenario and I believe that consulting with your local pastor and having their wisdom and support is vital in such a difficult situation.

The answer for me is NO.  I could not in good conscience attend a ceremony that is celebrating a commitment that I find to be in direct rebellion toward God's word.  Nor could I celebrate what is a commitment to definite damnation if it is not legitimately repented of before they die.  I.e. they "divorce" and no longer relate to each other in any way that is homosexual.  In fact, I believe wisdom suggests, that parting ways altogether is best in order to avoid temptation in every way.

Again, I would ensure that they know that I love them and value them.  I would even ensure that their partner knows the same.  But I could not support them in this way.  I would tell them that I would have a special visit with them afterwards if they would like but I could not consider myself a responsible witness to the truth of God's word if I attended the ceremony.

To be clear, this whole idea breaks my heart to think about.  I do not contemplate or state these things lightly.  Any loving Christian parent will be heartbroken and endlessly prayerful over such a scenario.


As I said, my hope is that all of the questions that I perceived in the feed back I received are answered in the way that I have said I would respond if I had an adult child who is, not only professing as gay, but has a partner and wants to get married.

To be clear, there is no such thing as a gay Christian.  That is in fact an oxymoron.  Can you be a Christian and wrestle with same-sex attraction?  Absolutely!  However, there is no scenario in which someone can embrace that attraction, be in a relationship much less get married, and have any biblical support for calling themselves a Christian.  If you are living an actively gay lifestyle and choosing not to repent and you die in that state, you will go to hell!!!

I know this is direct and I want to emphasize that I did not make that statement big and bold as if I am yelling.  I write these things not to be inflammatory.  I write them emphatically because I do not want anyone to go to hell.  I truly want people to understand that there is a better way.

Sex and marriage are for this life only.  While useful for intimately and pleasureably unifying a husband and wife spiritually, the primary purpose for sex is procreation.  Marriage however, is intended to be, first and foremost, a representation of Christ's relationship to His bride, the church.  It is supposed to be a representation of the gospel.  A biblical husband will represent Christ's sacrificial love for His church in the way that he loves his wife.  A biblical wife will represent the church's loving, respectful, and submissive response to Christ in the way that she loves her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33).  That is part of why it is so offensive that it has been commandeered and "redefined" by the government; not that they can ever truly redefine it.

As we look at examples of people biblically and currently, we know that not everyone is intended to be married.  God has in mind that some will remain single.  However, the idea that this somehow robs a person of fulfillment relationally and they can never be totally satisfied is a lie.  In all three of the synoptic gospels, Mark 10:29, Luke 18:29, and Matthew 19:29 Jesus tells His disciples this,
"Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundred-fold now in this time houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.  But many who are first will be last, and the last first.(Mark 10:29-30)
God will see to it that your needs are met and desires either satisfied or changed so that they line up more with what He knows is best for you and for His plans for you.  That could mean marriage, it could mean singleness.  Either way, your Creator knows what is best for you.

Please, Please, Please,  consider the things that I have said here.  If you have heard these truths before, marinate on them.  They will change your life for the better in ways you cannot imagine.  If you will put your trust in Christ and allow him to direct your paths, he will take care of you.  Once you are spending eternity with Him, you will not care whether your every sinful desire was satisfied in this life.

At the end of the day I know that I cannot change anyone's mind on this.  Only the Holy Spirit can change a heart and make these truths real on the inside in a way that is irresistible.  I will not be offended if no one reads this post or if everyone who does wants to disagree with it and tell me so. That is ok.

This is not about me.  This is about every sinner's (including me) need for a Savior and the recognition of that need.  This is about so many spiritual orphans that are in need of reconciliation with their Heavenly Father.  That reconciliation is available but it can only be found through Chist. These truths can be said in so many different ways and in so much more detail but ultimately, God must open the eyes of your heart to see and believe.

I love you and I pray that you will reconsider these truths and ask God to show you what He created you for.  He will give you purpose and fulfillment like no one else can.

May it be so in Jesus name.