Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Hating Homosexuals(Who's Really Guilty?)

Ever since homosexuality has begun moving into an ever-increasing position of dominance as a topic of identity, acceptance, and now civil right, almost anyone who dares to take a conservative stance, generally based on Holy Scripture, has been labeled a bigoted hate-monger.

Now I will absolutely grant that there has been a learning curve in terms of Christians taking a biblically loving approach to any issues surrounding homosexuality.  Many individuals, as well as horrific "ministries and minsters" such as Westboro Baptist Church and the likes of Fred Phelps have given an embarrassing name to Christians as it relates to this discussion.  Those types do not understand what it means to demonstrate the love of Christ to sinners!

However, I believe we have come along way, though many would disagree.  I believe this because I spend a lot of time reading and listening to Christian leaders of our day who desperately want to handle this issue with love and discernment.  I also know of a number of well known Christians, at least in certain Christian circles, whom have amazing testimonies of God's grace; enabling them either to overcome their same-sex attraction and live happily married lives or to live celibate single lives of satisfaction in Christ.  If you read my previous post entitled "What Would I Do If My Kids Were Gay", you would be familiar with some of these people.  As a repeat, a couple of examples would be Rosaria Butterfield and Sam Alberry at Living Out and author of "Is God Anti-Gay".  There is also a site known as Spiritual Friendship where the celibacy of Christians who are wrestling with same-sex attraction is celebrated and written about.

But I digress.  What does the hate of homosexuals look like?  How is it perceived and what is real? We already know that what Christians believe is love is percieved as hate.  We will speak to that. But, is there a version of hate that is labeled as love?  Let's look at some different perspectives.

Image result for images of love and hate

The Perspective of the Secular Society

At this point, I think you have two perspectives in secular society regarding this issue.  There are two parties and you will find these two perspectives varying in degrees of severity among these two parties.  The two parties are the LGBT community, consisting of those whom are actually lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender; and then you have their supporters, who may be straight but sympathize.

The two perspectives, as I understand them, are fleshed out like this:

1.)  According to David Gushee, a liberal teacher of Christian ethics at Mercer University, "our human understanding of what is sinful has changed over time."  Jimmy Creech, a former Methodist minister who was defrocked after performing a same-sex marriage thinks that, and I paraphrase, the conservative view of homosexuality is a part of the culture and history of the bible that is not appropriate for today.  Matthew Vines, author of God and the Gay Christian, argues that NT writers did not have any way to process the idea that human sexuality is a part of a person's identity and thus should not be condemned.

Jimmy Creech and a gay philanthropist and prominent furniture maker named Mitchell Gold, have formed an advocacy group named Faith in America which labels damage done to the LGBT community as "religious bigotry".  Gold has stated that "church leaders must be made to take homosexuality off of the sin list".

These quotes come from an article entitled Bigotry, the Bible and the lessons of Indiana, written by a well known Op-ed writer for the NY Times.  I quote them because the label of "religious bigotry" and the statement that "church leaders must be made to take homosexuality off the sin list" are strong representations of one perspective on hate by the secular society.  They do not allow for any middle ground.  This group, it seems, will not be happy until Christians are walking hand in hand with homosexuals at gay pride parades.  They are walking all over the religious liberties of Christians, even though there are other religions that also do not agree with homosexuality.

2.)  The second perspective is a much more fair-minded perspective held by many homosexuals.  I am afraid however, that this group is in the minority because they are being drowned out by the group described above.  This second perspective is comprised of homosexual's that are happy to practice their convictions in their own way and allow those whom disagree to disagree.  I have spoken to homosexuals who could care less if a Christian baker or florist provides services to them.  They understand the conflict.  If a Christian stands up for their convictions in a firm but loving manner, these homosexuals can handle it and respect it.  They don't see it as hate.  However, they also do not appreciate those "Christians" whom would talk trash and have nothing constructive to say.  For the record, neither do I.

The Perspective of the Liberal Christian

There are those whom believe themselves to be Christians that are in what is known as the Mainline Denominations.  These are denominations such as The United Church of Christ, The Episcopal Church, and the Presbyterian Church (USA).  We could also include the Church of England even though they do not directly affect us.  There are also less publicized, but just as liberal segments of the Lutheran Church and the Catholic Church.  Even among the more conservative denominations you will have the occasional church that changes their position on things such as gay marriage and ordination of gay ministers.  These ministers or churches are generally removed from that denomination if they will not repent.  Then of course there are independent churches and ministers that shift as well.

All of these groups have totally turned their backs on the teachings of the bible as it relates to homosexuality in every aspect of life and ministry.  This process stems from having such a desire to show love in an "inclusive and accepting" kind of way that they are willing to ignore scripture to try to accomplish this.  Individually and corporately you will hear arguments like, God came to heal the sick, God accepts all sinners into his fold, Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors and a loving God would not make people with this desire and then reject them because of it, etc.

These individuals and groups are so afraid of offending and running off people that they have been deceived into believing it is better not to call sin, sin.  They would rather not suggest that God expects us to turn from our sins if we are truly His.  No, their message is "God loves you just the way you are".  He made you this way.

They believe it is unloving and consequently hateful to suggest that an impenitent homosexual would go to hell.  They not only avoid the truth, but they reinforce the lie by allowing for gay marriage and gay ministers.

I might point out also that these denominations have been hemorrhaging members and loosing church bodies as they have become progressively more liberal.

The Perspective of the Conservative Christian

Healthy, bible-believing, conservative Christians do not see sharing the truth of scripture on this subject as hate.  In fact, they see it as the most loving thing they can do.  

Let me ask you, if I see someone in a burning house, flames are coming out of the windows and any minute the house will collapse, what should I do?  Would the most loving thing be to walk away and say, "well if they want to stay in there and burn that's none of my business.  Who am I to tell them they are wrong?"  Or should I risk my life to go in and pull them out?  Which one is more loving?

This is the challenge that faces every Christian who is striving for obedience to their Lord and Savior. Jude 1:23 instructs Christians to "save others by snatching them out of the fire".  That's right, the scenario above is actually a warranted illustration according to scripture.  There is an urgency to this call.  

Jesus said, "if you love me, you will keep my commands."(John 14:15)  In the 1st and 2nd Epistles of John, he reinforces that idea.  

But we know that commandments do not simply refer to the 10 Commandments or just the sayings of Jesus.  In Matthews 22:37-40 Jesus answers the Pharisees question about "which is the greatest commandment" by saying, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.   And a second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

In the same way the author of Hebrews tells us that, "Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world."(Hebrews 1:1-2)

Both of these scriptures place value not on any one part of the Bible, but on God's word as a whole.   The false-dichotomy which suggests that Jesus never said homosexuality or gay marriage was wrong so we can ignore all the scriptures that do is a lie!  In Matthew 19:3-6, as a response to a question about divorce, Jesus actually defines what marriage should look like and refers to the creation account in  Genesis in order to give a foundation for his definition.  The whole bible is full of God's commands.

Keeping those commandments not only means exhorting each other to pursue perfection in the do's and don'ts but, preaching the Gospel that Jesus is the only one who actually kept the do's and don'ts perfectly.  It is faith in His perfect life and His sacrificial death that save us and make His grace available so that we can succeed in obedience.  

God did not send His only Son as a sacrifice for our sins so that we could do whatever feels right.  An understanding of salvation rooted in biblical truth will result in a tree that bears biblical fruit in obedience to God's word.

So, Who Are The Real Haters?

What I wish the world understood and what the liberal professing Christian is actively ignoring is that, ANYONE who affirms homosexuality as being ok and not a sin is a true hater.  They are guilty of multiple offenses.  Not only are they actively ignoring biblical truth and spitting in Christ's face; but they are also doing the exact opposite of what they hope to achieve for the LGBT community.

It has been historically true that, at the root of a liberal approach which compromises the gospel, is an honest, heart felt desire to see people believe in Jesus and go to heaven.  The problem is a lack of confidence in the Holy Spirit, by the declaring of God's word, to change hearts and turn them toward Christ.  A compromised gospel is a faithless, man-centered, man-driven gospel.

If you do not preach the true, complete gospel of Jesus Christ and call sinners to repentance, you are effectively holding ANY sinners hand as they walk down the road to hell.  They might as well be holding Satan's hand!  You are doing them no favors.

Image result for images of holding hands to hellImage result for images of holding hands to hell

If you affirm them in their sin and tell them God loves them just the way they are and doesn't expect them to change, the same is true.  You are shining a light on the gates of Hell and making them look beautiful.
Rodin's Gates of Hell 


Romans 1:32 states that, "Though they know God's decree, that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them."

Paul has just finished listing a slew of "all manner of unrighteousness" that those who have rejected God perform.  Then in Romans 1:32 he links those who approve of such actions with those whom have been doing them.  He is preaching the condemnation of both.

In Isaiah 5:20-21 states, "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!  Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!"

It does not matter if you say you love Jesus or even believe that he rose from the dead.  If  you are unwilling to stand for truth and defend God's word as the final authority for both faith and practice, then you have not surrendered your heart to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and you are in eternal danger.  Your faith is in a God of your own making, not the God of the bible.

You are robbing yourself and your hearers of the Good News that sin is damning but God is saving. Sexuality and marriage ceases with this life(Matthew 22:30).  It will not be the focal point at all in eternity.  Please stop believing the enemies lie that our identity and satisfaction are found in our sexuality.  There are only two identities in this life, Sinner or Saint.  Which one are you?


I know this will go over like a lead balloon with a bunch of people. Still, a few will probably like it and agree.  The fact remains that this is not the popular stance either in secular culture or much of church culture.  However, it is absolutely what the bible teaches.

If you are a liberal or even if you consider yourself a conservative, yet you approve of homosexuality I plead with you to repent.  Maybe you don't outright approve, but you are unwilling to say anything for fear of being judged as unloving, I beg you to repent.  In either case you are doing damage to the gospel of Jesus Christ and you are misleading people who need a Savior whom demands everything because He gave everything.  He gives so much more than what we can ever give.  You may think you are being loving but you are actually showing a dangerously subtle hatred.

If you are a Christian who believes the bible, strives for obedience, and is willing to stand firm in a biblical stance on homosexuality or any other sin then I applaud you.  This is not easy.  Continue proclaiming the Good News.

Even the most well meaning of Christians can fall into the the camps which call for extreme caution. These camps will dare to suggest that even the most subtle suggestions that sin is sin, presented in the most subtle ways are somehow bible-beating.

I have seen that, even today; warnings contrasting expressions of love, with lessons from the law.  As if the two were in such stark contrast that they could never be uttered in the same conversation.  The law is not our enemy.  It is meant to drive us to grace.  People do not know that they need a cure if they do not know they have a disease.  The law shines the light on our disease (sin) so that we will desire the cure (grace).

We must always strive to speak the truth in love however, that never means not speaking the truth at all.  It means telling sinners that God accepts us just as we are, but not so that we can remain as we are.  We are expected to grow in the knowledge of the truth; becoming more and more like Christ until the day we get to see Him face to face.

As believers, by God's grace, we can do this because when Christ died for us, He did it even as we were hating Him.  May we find strength to love others as Christ loved us.

Image result for images of love ? hate

In Jesus name,


Thursday, April 23, 2015

Crazy Busy!

I have the pleasure of taking part in a book review program through Crossway called Beyond the Page.  As an incentive for doing the reviews I gain access to complimentary copies of the books that I choose to review.  I simply write the review and post it here on my blog as well as at least one other consumer site such as Amazon.com, Goodreads.com, Christianbook.com etc.  This is the first of what I hope will be many more reads and reviews to come.  I have two goals in taking part in this program. One goal is simply to gain access to books and support the authors through the reviews.  More importantly I hope to impact lives by creating interest in what I believe to be important Christian literature that will help others grow in theological knowledge and healthy application of biblical concepts.  So here goes.

Crazy Busy!

Kevin DeYoung is a pastor, conference speaker, blogger and book Author.  He has written several books in his young career as a well-known Christian leader.  He has a reputation as a winsome writer that is adept at driving home gospel-centered points in succinct, yet entertaining ways.  Crazy Busy does not disappoint.  I had the privilege of receiving a complimentary copy from Crossway books in order to complete this review.

In this book DeYoung is painstakingly honest about his own wrestling with the insanities of life, why they occur, what the dangers are, and how to strive to overcome them from a biblical mindset.  He lets us know from the beginning that he has not solved the problem of busyness.  He simply wants to point to some important considerations that have been helpful to him.  He breaks them down as with a 3, 7, 1 outline.  Three dangers to avoid, seven diagnoses to consider, and one thing we must do.

I was challenged by many points that he made.  One of the points that I believe is central to the whole book and struck me particularly was found in Chapter 5 entitled "Mission Creep".  In this chapter DeYoung makes the very important point that "You can't serve others without setting priorities".  He drives them home by using Jesus as the example, pointing out that even as the crowds were looking for him, he had to make choices to move on to the next town.  Jesus understood his mission and knew how to prioritize in order that he be busy doing, only the things that he should be doing to accomplish his purpose. This, rather than doing everything that he could be doing because he or anyone else thought it should be done. If Jesus had to prioritize, we most certainly do.  

DeYoung makes several solid points in this chapter but one statement at the end of Truth #1 really hit home. He says, "The people on this planet who end up doing nothing are those who never realized they couldn't do everything".  What a great statement!  That is a person I do not want to become.  

There are very few if any, especially in the "civilized world" who do not need help prioritizing, even if they do not know it.  I for one hope to better apply the idea of making priorities based on the passions and gifts that God has given me, rather than trying to be all things to all people.  I long to be effective for the cause of Christ and I believe the truths in this book can help me better navigate that journey.

For Christians in general, healthy prioritization is absolutely essential if we are to be as effective for the kingdom as God would have us be.  DeYoung does a great job using the concept of being "Crazy Busy" to challenge every aspect of who we are, what motivates us, where we find our identity, and how we manage our time.  This book is not just about finding sanity.  It is about being a good steward of the time God gives us with a view to the advance of the kingdom and the glory of His name.

I do not believe that there is a person who may read this review who would not benefit from reading it.  It is short, sweet, to the point, and entertaining as well.

I highly recommend it!


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Why Marriage Doesn't Matter......Or Does It 2.0?

The last days have seen every conceivable response to the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage.  But are we not missing the point to some degree?  Do we have a healthy understanding of eschatology (end times) as it relates to marriage?  Even if we do, we must continually be reminded. Stay with me for a few minutes and see why, in one sense, marriage matters immensely, in another sense, it doesn't matter at all.

Anyone who knows me or has followed this blog knows my stance on marriage and why it matters.  I will reiterate this to some degree here.  So why am I stating that marriage doesn't matter?  I believe there has been a gross overemphasis on marriage as the status quot for happiness and meaning in life both in this life and the next.  It impacts not only the overemphasis on the need for marriage by homosexuals but also the cultural normalcy in church life as it relates to singleness.  No one teaches a theology of singleness anymore.  I will not do it at length in this post but I may at some point.  It needs to happen often in our day, especially from the pulpit.

We all know that generally speaking the gay marriage agenda has had a dual argument which emphasizes the impact of marriage on civil rights, as well as whether they have the right to the same loving union "before God" as heterosexuals do.  I am not arguing for or against that in this post, though as an evangelical Christian, clearly I have reason to suggest that gay marriage should get a biblically based "bad rap". 

Singleness among the secular/worldly heterosexual culture is actually gaining ground as many unbelievers and not a few professing Christians are loosing an appreciation for the covenant commitment of marriage that was established by God from the beginning as the means by which family is held together and the earth is filled through reproduction.  They are either remaining single by choice because they are placing professional growth over the importance of family; or they are choosing to live together without marriage, a commitment that is not approved by God.  

It is being observed more and more by those observing church culture that singleness in the church is often being downplayed unintentionally.  It is thought that their needs to be more teaching that encourages marriage and family, while not making singleness faux pa.  We must teach both what healthy marriages should look like and what biblical, healthy singleness looks like.

This is applicable to any single, whether you are heterosexual or homosexual in orientation.  The choice to remain single and celibate for any period of time in the face of sexual attraction of any kind must be driven by a love for Christ and a proper understanding of the gospel.  You cannot do it because people say you should.  You must be motivated by a passionate appreciation for all that Christ has done for you and a healthy understanding that this life is not the end all.

Why Marriage Doesn't Matter

The Apostle Paul teaches that in the interest of not having divided interests it is better not to marry.  Here is the passage in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9, "Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.  I wish that all were as I myself am (single).  But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.  To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.  For it better to marry than to burn with passion."

In the grander context of chapter 7, Paul is encouraging those who are already single to pursue singleness as it relates to their God-given ability to be singularly focused on Jesus and the gospel.  He is not encouraging singleness for the sake of singleness or selfish pursuits that do not have Christ and the Great Commission (Matthew 28) at the center.  At the same time he brings balance to the thought, acknowledging that God has not granted everyone the gift of singleness and thus celibacy.  Jesus speaks to singleness and celibacy as a gift as well in Matthew 19:10-12.  As I said, I would love to speak to singleness more at another time and flesh out these thoughts further but I must move on as this is not the main point of this post. 

To be clear regarding marriage, we are certainly given permission to be a witness to the love of God in Christ Jesus as married men and women who are raising a family.  That can be exhibited in the form of a strong Christian witness in the everyday life of work and home or it can be in the form of ministry, be it pastoral, para church or in some official missionary role.  While singleness may make flexibility easier, being married does not limit what God wants to do in your life.  If we are not clearly driven to remain single for the sake of being free to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth, unhindered by familial responsibility, then we should be getting married.  

In Matthew 22:23-33 the Pharisees are challenging Jesus about the resurrection.  In so doing, they question Jesus about marriage in heaven when a spouse has been married to multiple people in this life.  They specifically reference Deuteronomy 25:5.  Jesus' answer was this, "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven."(Matthew 22:30).  

Here Jesus is making clear that marriage is a temporal thing.  It is not the main point because it does not exist for all of eternity.  Once a person dies and, if a believer, begins eternal life with Christ in Glory; the marriage relationship ceases and sex as a means of fulfillment and reproduction is no longer necessary.  In effect, in Heaven, marriage does not matter.  So why is it such a big deal in this life?

Why Marriage Does Matter?

So what is the main point?  Why all the hubbub about marriage if it doesn't matter?  Well, basically, because it does matter.  I know, it sounds contradictory.   Here's the thing, in eternity marriage to each other does not matter because we will be married to Jesus.  In fact, if you are a believer, you already are.  You may be thinking, Huh?  Let me explain.

As explained in Genesis 2:18, 21-25 God gave Adam a helper made from Adam's rib and Adam called her Woman.  God said in vs. 24, "therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."  They were to "be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28)  So at the most basic level marriage is a man and a woman in a committed, covenant relationship between them and God, making babies and managing the earth's resources to the glory of God.  

Now, if there was any confusion about whether this was God's design for marriage, a few thousand years later Jesus comes on the scene and clarifies.  In Matthew 19:3-12, he clarifies his position on marriage, divorce, remarriage, and single celibacy.  In vs. 4-6 He says, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh?  So they  are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." 

 Sound familiar?

Ok, so we know how marriage is defined by God but what is it's purpose in this life?  This is where the Apostle Paul is helpful.  In Ephesians 5:22-33 Paul writes what have become some of the most controversial, offensive verses in our feministic day and time.  Unfortunately, many a man has abused these verses and many a woman has wanted to ignore them.  This is because both parties have completely missed the point of this passage of God's word.  That is why they are offensive and controversial; not because God's word is imperfect or bad for us, but because sinful man has distorted it and mangled it's application.

Let me see if I can break it down briefly so as to make clear what the point of this passage is. Ephesians 5:22-24 is to wives.  In it Paul instructs wives to think of themselves not as worthless or inferior to their husbands, but rather as a valued treasure that, in relating to her husband, is intended to reflect the church universal as it relates to Christ.  The church submits to Christ because it is responding to His love for her.  The wife submits to her husband as an act of submission to Christ, because of Christ's love for her.  She is entrusting her husbands role, and his obedience to the requirements of that role, to Christ's authority.

Now for husbands.  Ephesians 5:25-29 teaches husbands how to love their wives.  The answer is we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  As husbands we are to die to ourselves and live with the purpose of representing Christ's love to our wives.  Just as Christ washes His church with His word, we as husbands are to wash our wives with the water of the word. We are to value her as our greatest treasure and treat her as such.  If we do that, she will have a much easier time responding with loving, respectful submission because not only is she trusting her husband to Christ, but she will actually be able to trust herself to her husband.

Paul continues to build his case by quoting both God in Genesis and Jesus in Matthew, writing in Ephesians 5:31 he says, "therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh".  From here, Paul get's to the obvious point in Ephesians 5:32 when he says, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church."

He is answering the question, "Why does marriage matter?"  It matters because God intends the husband/wife relationship to show the world how Christ loves his church and how the church is to respond to that love.

Jealousy for Jesus In Singleness!

If you are a single believer in Christ, that does not mean you are relationship-less.  You have a covenant relationship with Christ.  You also share in this relationship with a huge family of brothers and sisters in Christ.  Whether they are married or single, we will all share singleness in common in Heaven.  These are the only relationship that will matter in eternity and it starts the moment you place your faith and trust in Him.  Do not think that you are inferior or somehow less valuable.  Every child of God is infinitely valuable to Christ.  He died for you!  For that reason you should be jealous for Jesus in your singleness.

You have a special opportunity in your singleness to impact the kingdom in ways that only a single person can.  Not to take anything away from marriage and family but, there are burdens and responsibilities that a single person does not have to carry.  This makes them flexible and thus uniquely qualified for certain tasks that only God knows about.

You may or may not ever be married.  Regardless of whether we are married or not, we must make every moment count for the kingdom.  We must live vertically, always considering what God's purpose is in all that He places before us.

Jealousy For Jesus In Marriage

When marriage is thrown out via divorce, distorted in the form of abuse or infidelity, or by changing the sex of the parties being married, it vandalizes the very image that God intends it to reflect. That is why we must be jealous for the protection of this covenant relationship.  We must be jealous for Jesus because in a sense, whether husband or wife, as God's children we represent Christ to the world.

Wives represent Christ through willful, loving submission to their husband just as Jesus willfully submits lovingly to God the Father.  Husbands represent Christ's sacrificial love for the church as they sacrificially love their wives.

We must not respond simply with the occasional expression of distaste for "same-sex marriage", but by ensuring that our own marriages are representing this biblical model appropriately.  When we are having difficulty applying biblical principle to our marriage for each other, we must do it for Jesus.

We must always remember that, as believers, our covenant relationship through marriage in this life is always intricately tied to the marriage covenant in which we take part; as part of Christ's bride, the church of Jesus Christ.  In that respect, male or female, Christ is our husband and we should submit to Him out of our love and appreciation for His sacrifice for us.

Our marriage to our spouse in this life matters immensely to Jesus because of it's reflection on our marriage to Him.  He cares that it is successful not just for our happiness, but for His glory!

Make Your Marriage Matter for Christ's Kingdom!  Lift up the name of your Eternal Husband!

In Christ's name,



Monday, April 20, 2015

What Would I Do If My Kids Were Gay?

I have shared a good bit regarding homosexuality on FB.  I have received my share of push back.  I have wrestled with how I would write on this topic as a blog post.  I have processed a lot of ideas in drafts that have not been published.  While this may not be the only post I write on this topic, I realized that a personal concept such as this question provides a platform that makes the whole thing real for me as well as anyone else reading it.  It is a real question with real possibilities.  If you have ever wondered where I fall on this topic in general, I think this post will shed quite a bit of light.  
The liberal article I reference below went viral.  You don't see that very often with conservative pieces.  I don't care about hits or likes for me personally, but I do want the truth to be proclaimed and lives to be changed.  There are a lot of good resources and examples out there for Christians who are striving to live an obedient Christian life. They need to know about them.  So if this registers with you and you think it would speak to others please share and share alike.  Here goes.
What would I do if my kids were gay?

No, I am not the first person to contemplate this question or write about it.  However, in today's culture, I may be one of the few in my tiny circle of influence who would write a biblical, yet still loving response to that question. I have considered writing about this thought process before, but I am admittedly driven to it now by this article.  An article in which a man speaks to this very question.  I will speak to it on a personal level, as a parent, as well.  First, I have a few brief thoughts specific to this man's article.

This man is not only a professing Christian, he is also a Pastor.  This makes his response doubly dangerous.  When we profess Christ we stand on a name with great authority, consequently our very Christian witness reflects on the character and teachings of God's word.  However, as a Pastor there is an even greater accountability and a stricter judgement on what is said (James 3:1).  There are aspects of this pastor's thoughts that are good.  He wants to love his children impartially, shamelessly, and devotedly.  He does not want to see them suffer shame or persecution at the hands of haters because of their same-sex attraction.

These are Godly, loving desires that any parent should have.  However, when that love is unwilling to call a sinner to repentance and warn them of the judgement to come, no matter how well intended, even if that sinner is their child; that parent is grossly deceived and is misleading their children to certain eternal death, unless the Lord intervenes.  I pray this man repents both as a parent and a pastor or he will lead many astray.

For myself, I can no longer sit by and watch people who not only call themselves Christians, but some of whom are functioning in a role of pastor, write and make statements that throw the gospel under the bus in the name of love.  They misrepresent Christ's sacrifice and God's word.  It is irresponsible and damning for those who take those words seriously.

Rather than nitpicking his article at length, I would like to share my heart regarding this question. Yes, the scenario is hypothetical for me, so some could argue that I cannot possibly know what I would do.  If anyone has that thought, I would point to the fact that this Pastor takes a more liberal stance than I will and his thoughts are based on a hypothetical as well.  The hypothesis did not seem to bother the hundreds or thousands that liked and shared his article. It is healthy to think about these things because we have no idea exactly what trials we may face and it is certainly possible to be a devout Christian and have a child who is same-sex attracted.  What is not healthy is that pastor's answer to the question.

This is my family!  I love them more than life itself. My boys are 10 & 6.  I too never want to see them suffer.  I desire nothing more than for them to grow up loving Jesus and desiring to put Him first in everything that they say and do.  I pray that this family will know one another, in fellowship with Jesus, for all eternity.

I pray that my boys will never have to face this scenario but if we did, how would I respond if this question was applied to them?  I believe there are at least three risks to consider when contemplating this scenario.  What is the risk to my soul as I respond to this concern?  What is the risk to the soul of my child?  What is the risk to Heaven's joy?

Risking My Soul

I do not fear what men may do to me or my children.  I do not want my children to suffer because of any one sinful tendency they may have.  I do not believe any Christian should have to because we all have sinful tendencies.  However, if they suffer for the sake of the gospel; because they are standing for truth even in the face of temptation, so be it.  Jesus says that it must be so.  When sending forth the disciples, Jesus guaranteed persecution but instructed them, "do not fear that which could kill the body but not kill the soul.  Rather, fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." (Matthew 10:28, Luke 12:4)

Regarding all manner of unrighteousness, including homosexual acts, Paul states in  Romans 1:32 that, "Though they know God's righteous decrees that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them."

It is an eternally dangerous and slippery slope to manipulate or outright reject the word of God as it regards the sins of the flesh.  When this is done it reflects a lack of love for God, a lack of trust in His word, and a lack of love for the sinner.  I have friends who have and may be still walking this slippery slope.  I want to say to you and anyone else it applies to:

When you condone sin, you are putting your soul at risk! 

When you condone sin, you are putting the sinner's soul at risk!

I refuse to do either!  Silence is not an option.  Silence simply ignores the problem, it does not make it go away.  A person is equally as damned if they die in their sins because you did not share the truth as they are if you change the truth.  Please pray and seek God regarding this, for your sake and the sake of the unredeemed souls in your circle of influence.

Risking My Child's Soul

It is one thing to tell my child, "I love you no matter what."  It is quite another thing to tell my child that God loves them no matter what.  This is putting my own child's soul at risk based on a lie.  I will not do it!

It is not true that God loves everyone the same.  God hates impenitent sinners (Psalm 5:4-6).  God loves His children.  Who are his children?  His children are those who have believed in His name and are born of God (John 1:12-13).  So who says a homosexual cannot believe and be born of God?
Not I!  However, a born-again (John 3) homosexual will not act on their same-sex attraction. They will not be impenitent.  They will be penitent or repentant.  They will turn from their sin and themselves and run toward God.  All sinners stumble however, the choice to ignore scriptures teaching on a given sin is a heart issue.  If their heart is surrendered to Christ, they will repent, ask forgiveness and be forgiven. (1 John 1:9)

A born-again homosexual will learn that they no longer need to identify as a homosexual.  They will learn that they have been set free from the power of the law of sin and death.  They have died to that nature which identified them as gay.  They can now identify as a born-again child of the Most High God whom may wrestle with same-sex attraction, but is no longer enslaved to it.  They will learn that they are adopted into the family of God and can now call God Abba, Father.  As a child of God they are now set free to follow the ways of the Spirit of God.(Romans 6 & 7; Romans 8:1-2, 12-17).  

They will learn to rest in Christ's righteousness which has been credited to them as their own.  They will learn that, as a child of God, they no longer have to fear death and judgement because Christ paid the price for every sin that they will ever commit.  They only need walk in obedience to God's commands and by God's grace, repent of sin as it arises.  This will be evidence that their life in Christ is legitimate.

These are a few of the many gospel truths that I have already begun teaching my children.  If they began developing feelings of same-sex attraction, I would continue teaching these things.  Nothing would change because these truths do not change no matter what our sinful inclinations may be. They are just as true for the single man or woman inclined toward fornication or the married man or woman inclined toward adultery as they are for the single homosexual inclined toward the same sex.

Again I will ALWAYS tell my children that I love them and strive to show them that I love them!  I will look for any source of support that I can find, beginning with my undying love and affection. What I will not do, is affirm the desire to pursue any sinful lifestyle, up to and including the homosexual lifestyle.  They will know that I love them, but I will continue to uphold the truth for the sake of their souls!  Any philosophy which suggests that withholding this truth is more loving than declaring it is A LIE!!!

I will not hold my children's hand to Hell!  If I could I would drag them kicking and screaming to Heaven.  That is not how it works, but if I could I would.


This is not joyless, identity stealing, oppressive hogwash.  This is the yoke-destroying, chain-breaking, joy-giving, hope-wielding gospel of Jesus Christ!  He came to deliver any sinner from their sin and to empower them unto a life of obedience, if they would repent of their sins and put their trust in Him.

Now, I am not so naive as to suggest that the same-sex attraction just disappears for anyone who believes.  I would not teach my children that, gay or not.  I would teach them that by God's grace, anyone wrestling with same-sex attraction can either live a satisfied, joy-filled life of celibacy or; that perhaps God will empower them to move beyond their same-sex attraction and enjoy a heterosexual marriage.  I know of people whom have experienced one or the other of these results, while still having some semblance of same-sex attraction.  God has done it both ways for His children because He always knows what is best.  He always does what is best for them and what will bring Him the most glory.

I would provide them examples of men such as Wesley Hill one of the founders of Spiritual Friendship.org and Sam Allbery one of the founders of Living Out; they are both Christian ministers who are also celibate men that have learned to overcome the temptation of succumbing to same-sex attraction.  That is not to say that it is altogether gone, but they are not slaves to it.  They have found victory and satisfaction in Jesus.

I would also introduce them to the story of Jackie Hill Perry, a former lesbian that got saved and is a happily married, heterosexual Christian rapper.  Also, Rosaria Butterfield, a professor at Syracuse University, a former lesbian and author of The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert.  She is also living a happily married, heterosexual life.

As I said, I would provide any source of biblical hope that I could find to my same-sex attracted child while continuing to affirm my love for him, God's grace for him, and striving in any other biblical way I could to support him.

Risking Heavens Joy

This is not a tag-on.  In a sense, it is equally as important as the other two risks I have discussed.  But what does it mean to risk heaven's joy?  Luke 15:7 ends The Parable of the Lost Sheep.  It states, "Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."  This parable begins a string of three parables that regard celebration over the lost treasure of a repentant sinner that has been found.

What we must realize is that, when we minimize the tragedy of sin and the importance of repentance in the life of a sinner we not only aid in their condemnation, we are agents in removing the opportunity for Heaven to rejoice.  Who or what is heaven?  Heaven consists of every impenitent sinner who became a repenting saint in this life, and is now perfected and worshiping before the throne of grace in eternity.  It consists of the Angelic hosts, and most importantly it consists of the Godhead; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  All three of those parties, including those believers still living this life, lose the opportunity to rejoice; all because of the lack of repentance by every sinner that is deceived and led astray regarding the profundity of the dangers of the world, the flesh, and the devil.

Heaven wants to rejoice!  God sent His Son and Jesus willingly gave His life so that they could rejoice over impenitent sinners who are now repentant, saved souls.

Love Them!

Your children, my children, murderers, pedophiles, rapists and yes, homosexuals; every sinner that needs to know the Savior must be loved by us. "God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)  He didn't differentiate between sins, race, nationality, or gender.  "For there is no distinction between Jew or Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him.  For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved!"(Romans 10:12-13).

Some of you may have balked at my list of sinners above.  You may not like the idea of lumping our children in with some of those other heinous concepts, but why not?  None of us are sinless.  We may differentiate between sins, but God does not.  It only takes one sinful act of rebellion to make us eternally guilty before a Holy God.

If we deserved death yet received grace, how much then should we be showing that same grace and compassion for other sinners.  The greatest expression of appreciation that we can show God for what He has done for us is to declare that Good News to others as often as possible.  If we truly believe this Gospel, should we not want to tell it to anyone who will listen.

Like it or not I have to acknowledge that my child is not a perfect little angel, no....he is a viper in a diaper!
 rolling lol emoticon  

Or at least he was when he was in diapers and he continues to be a sinner now.  You get the idea. Whether it is my child, my neighbor, or my coworker, the greatest way that I can ever show them love is to share the Gospel with them.  So, whether my child expresses an inclination toward same-sex attraction or not, I will keep the Gospel in front of him for as long as I have breath and I will show the Gospel to him by striving to give him as much sacrificial love and affection as my strength will allow.  It is my joy to do so as his Father.  Sinner or Saint, he will always be my child, but I want my child to celebrate the goodness of our God with me in Heaven for all eternity.

I hope you would want the same for yours!

May it be so in Jesus name.